Pillow Thoughts...

Monday.

Well I'm back, Blogger seems to be up and running... Never sure with technology why it stops working or if it will stay working.

I'm off work this week, Kev isn't, bit mine is the backlog of holidays from while I was off sick. 

While I wasn't posting I had a memory come up on Facebook, as you do from 9 years ago. It was just as we were made homeless, and how I was coping, which on the surface I was chipper, optimistic and undaunted. Underneath that I was a mess. I was scared, heartbroken and disappointed with people in general, I hid it well, but also drove people away by lashing out because I didn't know who to rely on so I decided not to rely on anyone. That caused a lot of people to turn their backs on us, which was understandable. What I didn't know then that a couple of years later I would be in a much better place. At the time, I thought I was at the end of of the line. It took all my strength to continue, There were so many times I nearly shut my eyes for good. Noone knew this I kept it to myself I withdrew and it took me a long time to come back. Now I see it was all to clear the way to better things. We moved to stay with friends in Nottingham. I got to reconnect with my sister. We moved in to a place of our own after a while, I moved to Arnold Sainsbury's and for the first time actually enjoyed going to work, sure its like every supermarket it has its share of the multi faced and backstabbers, but in the whole it welcomed me and I felt a part of the team that I never felt at Burton.

When we moved to Cotgrave ( against advice, from some) we found our peace. Again it has it challenges, bullies and control freaks that want to know when you fart, but we mainly keep to ourselves, and it's worked out well. We are happy, we have friends good ones who chose to be around us because of who we are rather than what we can do for them. People who we can rely on. 

So my reason for hashing this all out in my blog is this, no matter how at rock bottom you feel you are hang in there. At some point things will improve, things are never perfect, but we can find happiness again and sometimes it comes good far better than it was before. Both of us still face challenges but, in general this is probably the happiest I have ever been.