Wash day so up early. Luckily Kev able to put the washing in before anyone else. Everything was hung outside.
We had lunch out at Streza with Charlotte. Sadly we spotted Mr Busy outside, but after a brief hello we didn't have to put up with him thank goodness.
In the afternoon we started to watch Traitors NZ.
Although I've got a couple of days before we go back to work, my mind is working overtime about the negotiations to come. For the first time in the 12 years I've worked at Arnold, I'm dreading it. I have been happy there in that time, and wished I had moved away from Burton branch a lot sooner. But now that sick knot at the pit of my stomach that I knew so well while working at Burton is back.
It's such a shame that it's come to this, I thought I could ride out my last few years, but now I know that's not going to happen.
I'm a mixture of emotions right now, angry, sad, scared. Change is scary, but I need to woman up and get through it. While we were homeless I lived on adrenaline and fight or flight mode. And got through that. This isn't so desperate as that, so I know I'm strong enough to come back from it. It's just taking that first step into the unknown that's the daunting part.
I had a better night's sleep last night, but that's because I was so exhausted from the few nights previous when I couldn't switch my brain off. We will see what happens when I go to bed tonight. I might try to go later than usual so that I am genuinely tired.
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